Melbourne – Part 2

As someone who grew up in a city, I feel at ease with huge crowd around me. I like being surrounded by the hustle and bustle (most of the time, with exceptions), but only just enough so I can get lost in the city and wrap myself up in my own thoughts, and not too much that it might overwhelm me. The lights, the trams’ bells, the street performances, the quirky fashion, the cafes sprinkled all over the city. They stimulate my senses, in a good way. Here I spent my time walking around, stopping to breathe and feel the drizzle on my cheek; I’d let all of me soak in everything that I see, feel, hear, smell, touch. The city’s tempo is fast, you can tell by the average speed of people walking on the streets, but it’s not as fast as those in New York City. You won’t get the irritated grunts whenever you slow down. People are very expressive too. Every day that I was there I saw people with Gothic makeup and eccentric clothes, which initially led me to think that there was some theme party or festival that I didn’t read about in the visitor’s guide, but later on I realized it’s just who they are. In my wildly imaginative mind though, I was almost convinced that there’s a whole group of them, part of Addam’s family or something, that congregates every evening at some secret place, and we’re just not privy to it. Boohoo. Not invited cuz we’re not cool enough.  >.<  At one point I was so curious I almost went up to them, oh I don’t know, for a picture maybe? Or a casual chat, and maybe get an invitation to the secret party. But I was too timid for my own liking, and they just walked on by. I was left alone with my own thoughts. Gah.

A mother trying to capture her son in still pictures but he just couldn’t be bothered. haha. 

One of the things I really enjoyed while I was there was visiting museums. The picture above is of the National Gallery of Victoria- NGV International (they have another one called NGV Australia). I wanted to go back there to check out the exhibition of Catherine The Great’s private collection, but never got the time to do so. As it is, there’s already so much to see in the free sections. It’s a pity I missed it. Ever since we learned about her during one history class I’ve held this fascination about her, wondering what her life was like back in the old Russian days before communism. Must’ve been a heck of a woman to lead the country back when women were expected to just take care of the family and do nothing else. Ah well. Perhaps another day, in another city.

Check out this award winning dress suit in the contemporary art section. 
If you have too many utensils and don’t know how to utilise them, here’s an idea. 😛  

I thought this chair was kinda cool. I’d get it if it was for sale. 

Federation Square. 

Fed Square seems to be where all the school kids hang out during their lunch break. Either the schools are all very close by, or they have very long breaks. So nice to be students there. They get to go for excursions every day it seems. One day to NGV, another day to ACMI (Australian Centre for the Moving Image), and another to Queen Victoria Markets. Seeing them having so much fun made me slightly envious of their school days.

On one of those days there was a performance- a mime show interacting with the school children. The event was to raise awareness of hearing problems, be it acquired or congenital, and after the performance they screened some video clips of people sharing their hearing problems and how getting a hearing aid helped change their lives. They had booths nearby encouraging people to get their hearing checked for free too. I gave it a pass… telling myself I probably don’t need it yet.  

Fed Square at night. A lot quieter but still nice and pretty. 
Yarra River, which according to my friend is quite polluted. Once there was a guy who canoed there and got food poisoning, which after investigation seemed to be related to this river. I don’t know how true this is, I just thought it’s a pretty intriguing story and now everytime I think of this river that’s what I’d picture in my mind. lol. 

View from where my friend lives. That’s Flinders Street Train Station, and behind it Yarra River. Every morning around 11am there will be two guys on the rooftop taking a ciggie break. Fun fact.
This is Flinders St train station again, at the front entrance. And a tram. 
Minutes before taking this picture, I was listening to this news anchor reporting on a strike that tram drivers are having to protest against the low wages. 

To be continued…

Melbourne – Part 1

Melbourne, or Australia in general, has always been on my list of places to visit. But I was never really serious about making my way there, mainly because I have friends and relatives there whom I know will always be there so I can go anytime I want and there’ll still be people I know to show me the place they call home. There’s always the next year. Then one day when I found out that my best friend was going to move to Japan, I have this sense of urgency to visit, before she leaves. It’s not that I can’t go when she’s not around, it’s just that to me Melbourne is her place, her territory, and it’d mean so much more to see how this place has shaped her, and what this place means to her. Also, I haven’t really spent more than a few hours each time I see her for the past decade or so, and that too I only get to see her once a year- if I’m lucky. So this trip would be a great time to just catch up and hang out. Thus began my journey to the Land Down Under. 🙂

I spent about a week in Melbourne, of which two days were spent in the country. On our way there we stopped at Mornington Peninsula for lunch at a winery, then headed for Sandy Point for the night. The next morning we went to Wilsons Promontory National Park for a walk/hike, before heading to Philip Island to see the penguins, and back to the city. Some pics below that highlight the best of the two days.

The winery where we had lunch. Weather was exceptionally good that day. Gentle breeze with warmth from the sun. 

 I don’t usually like bacon, but this is delish. Especially with the avocados. 

Meatballs. Just couldn’t get enough of it. 

Tomatoes with feta cheese and balsamic vinegar and dunno-whatelse but it’s really good. 

Some bird. Finger-licking good. 

This pic doesn’t do enough justice to the mushroom with sour cream on top. 
It’s easily on my top 3 list of all the dishes with tried. 

By now you can tell I’m no food writer nor food critic. 
But I do know how to appreciate really good food. 
This meal was one of the highlights during my time in Melbie. Will go back for more. 
Okay enough of food. This is Wilsons Prom National Park. Everything is just so blue and so green and breathtakingly beautiful. For a few hours that morning, I felt at peace. Didn’t want to think about anything. Just wanted to enjoy the moment, and revel in being alive. 

Bestie and I. Friends since 7, bff since 11. 

Peekaboo. 
Caught sight of a bird soaring high. 
My camera’s lens couldn’t capture any closer, this is as close as it gets. 
Some filming crew. A capsized boat and half naked boy with a bigger Tarzan like man. 
I wonder what film is this. 

Felt like I was transposed momentarily to heaven. 

Another slice of heaven, frozen forever in pixels. And in my memory. 
Penguin Parade Park in Philip Island.   
And I’m only slightly taller than the Eocene (prehistoric) penguins. :'( 
That’s about it for now. Don’t want to take up too much space posting photos. I’ve organised and shared my other photos on my Flickr. Check it out if  you want. 🙂  Cheers. 

Back Again!

I’ve stopped writing for so long I think I forgot how to write. Feels so weird typing on the keyboards trying to form sentences that reflect my thoughts. The thing is, I’ve kept my thoughts to myself for way too long and now that I want to let it out, I don’t know, I felt… exposed. I’d have to relearn how to filter my thoughts lest I say (write) something that might offend the government and then they’d catch me and put me behind bars. Can’t deny the fact that one of the reasons why I’m reluctant to write is because whenever I feel like writing, it involves the grim situation of my country. Or my school for that matter. Yes. There’s that fear. My brother would say, to hell with those fear! Everyone has a right to voice their opinion, and discuss it freely and openly. My dad would argue, oh just stay out of it and keep quiet. The less you say/write the better. Does you no good especially when you have so much at stake. And that’s what I’ve been doing for so long now, keeping my thoughts to myself. Of course there are other reasons that kept me away from writing (exams, just being lazy, etc). But lately the itch to write is growing stronger, and I need to scratch it. Also needed a place to vent. So here I am. Will try to be careful with what I say. Perhaps I’ll start with something less controversial. Like my trip to Aussie. Cheers everyone! 🙂

Untitled #3

140 characters isn’t enough to let me purge my thoughts. It’s funny- I told myself I wasn’t going to blog until I’m done with exams and school, but I find myself keep coming back here. Then again each time I’m done writing though, it always gets deleted. Off to trash it goes, for fear that the content may be a little too sensitive or inappropriate to share on the blogosphere. Some things are better left unwritten, at least until I’m completely done with school.

One more exam to go and I’ll be done. I hope. The accreditation board is taking its own sweet time to get back to us, and it’s driving everyone nuts.

Every time when exams are near and I’m a little stressed, I have weird dreams. Dreamt that birds kept flying into my parents’ bedroom, which is the master bedroom that faces the street/front yard, but whose windows were wide open- with no grills (which isn’t the case at all in real life). Brother and I would catch them and throw them out of the window but these persistent little things kept flying back! Each of them is like a freakin’ boomerang coming back at us. Fine. I’ll close the windows then. I thought I’d outsmart them this time, but no- somehow mom left the middle bottom window panel opened, and through that small window, one of them managed to fly in! -___-||  And guess what? I happened to be standing right in front of it, and the bird flew right at me and got stuck at my throat. Whether I got injured or died from bleeding/asphyxiation due to the beak-tracheostomy was unbeknownst to me- I was too grossed out that I woke up.

Part two of that bird craziness. Yet another dream: Whoever’s dumb idea to put a tall thin 2-meter wooden stick right in front of our house, I do not know. It’s something akin to the beanstalk from Jack and the Beanstalk (and no I haven’t been watching/reading/thinking about that story of late), except it’s only 2 meters, and at the top of it laid a bird’s nest. Someone decided that putting a nest there would serve as a decoy, and the birds would stop flying into the bedroom. It worked alright for a while, but the birds just wouldn’t leave! So what did the someone do? Someone decided to fatten up the birds so that they’d grow so fat, so much so that they couldn’t balance themselves (in the nest) on the beanstalk, and fell– all the way from 2 meters off the ground. Splatttt! And died. One by one. Mission to rid the birds: success! End of dream.

Ohmygod I don’t know what kind of dream that was, but it sure was stupid, nonsensical, and morbid. And yet, I couldn’t stop laughing- in my dream.

Sometimes I think I need to get my brain checked.
Please do not judge me for having these kinds of dreams. I have absolutely no control over them.
Believe me when I say I’d never hurt a snail let alone a bird, in real life. But why on earth would my dreams be so crazy, trust me I’m just as baffled!

That’s all for now. Happy Sunday peeps!

Hello 2015

It’s halfway past the first month of this ‘new’ year, and I’ve been seriously contemplating shutting down this blog. In fact, maybe stop writing altogether. Or maybe start a new blog. With a clean state, no history, no past. And then maybe I can reinvent myself, be anonymous. Be anyone I want to be but myself.

But the thing about new blog / new year / new self is this- it’s just an illusion. I can start a new blog every year, with a new personality/character, but for all we know- I’m still the same person. And unless there’s a time machine to bring me back to the past, I’ll still be here and nothing is really ‘new’, and we don’t really get a fresh start.

So no new year resolutions this year. No reflection about 2014 either. I’m just glad I managed to bring myself here to write something. Honestly after such a long time of not writing, I forgot how to write. And all the things I’ve wanted to write about has left me, and right now there’s only an empty shell waiting to be filled with new ideas/thoughts to be shared. But I’m not going to make a promise to self to write every day or every week or whatever, because the last time I did that, it ended horribly.

This year to me is a year full of uncertainty. I have no idea what’s going to happen to me- whether I’m going to graduate as planned, what I’d be doing after graduation, where I’ll end up etc.  But I’m done worrying. So I’m just gonna let it play itself out, trusting that things will work out just fine. 🙂

Signing off, xoxo.

Barry Schwartz: Our Loss of Wisdom [video]

Was talking to a friend about the current state of Malaysia, and it just depresses me. Yes. It has that effect on me. And then I chanced upon this video and though it’s only loosely related, it’s inspiring. Sharing this here so I, too, can re-watch it another day, when I need it. Enjoy!

December

It’s December, my favorite time of the year. In my enthusiasm to live a healthier lifestyle and maybe shed some pounds before my birthday, I decided to return to the gym after a long hiatus. And for the same reason I found myself with extra energy I decided to do some sit-ups, something I only occasionally do. But this time I did 11 sets of 10 and felt really good after that. I even gave self a virtual pat on the shoulder for not feeling any soreness when doing it. Fast forward to the next morning. Whaddaya know. I started to feel the pain, and oh. my. god. it’s so painful I can’t even describe it. I couldn’t stand up straight because any stretch will cause it to hurt like hell. That, and something I ate the day before gave me some GI distress (aka diarrhea), made my day utterly miserable and I had to skip a day of work/school. Lying in bed, curling up like a prawn in distress, I wished I didn’t go to the gym or did all that sit-ups. I wished I hadn’t eaten the seafood I ate (I didn’t even eat that much!!). Ughhhh. So much for a healthier lifestyle. :'(

October, Resurfaced

Why hello there?!  Hellooooo… (hello oo ooo ooo…) 

I can almost hear the echo that bounces off the virtual wall of this blog, which reflects the emptiness and dead space in between (and quite aptly so), thanks to yours truthfully for not updating this blog for so many months.

It feels so strange to be typing away on the keyboard, and leaving traces of thoughts on this white space, pausing every now and then with the blinking cursor waiting eagerly to move on. I forget how it feels like to put down thoughts in words. Not like this, at least. Everything I’ve been writing since August has all be patient notes, full of jargons and standard descriptions completely void of creativity or imagination. Steer away from the standard writing and risk being seen as unprofessional rigmarole. It’s easy to get used to that though. But now that I’m back here in my own space, I’m not sure if I can write like I used to anymore.

I know not what prompted me to open a new tab, come here and leave a note. At this moment I don’t have anything particular on my mind, all there is is an itch to type, and leave something here. As if to prove to the world (or myself) that I’m still around. Still not forgotten. But by whom? Who cares? Does anybody care, or notice my absence?

It is end of October, two more months to a new year. I can’t believe how time flies, and I’ll be heading home soon. So much for wanting to write more, and jot down notes on my stay here. So much to be said; and yet, sometimes it’s better off kept to self.

Mini Study Break

I lied- I said I will write more after the exam but it’s been more than a month since the last post. The truth is, every time I made my way here I find myself feeling guilty for wanting to write something when I could be doing something else that’s more urgent. Today however, I just wanna scribble some thoughts before I move on to other things.

It’s August. So much has changed since I last wrote. The biggest change, at least in my realm, is that Hopkins is no longer PUGSOM’s collaborating partner. As I write this, I’m not even sure if I should be making this known, here in my personal blog no less, but I figure it has already happened and nothing I say or not say would change anything anyway, so it should be fine. I should precede what I’m about to write with a disclaimer though- that what I write is purely my own thoughts, feelings or opinions and has nothing to do with either school.

It’s too complicated to get into why it happened, and frankly we students were in the dark for the most part and really didn’t know much of the discussion going on with the parties to know why the partnership had failed. But like all kids who suffered from parents’ divorce, we got the brunt of it all, and are truly hurting. Can’t quite describe how it feels, except to say that it’s a mixture of betrayal as well as wretchedness, with perhaps a pinch of anger. But life goes on whether we like it or not, and so that’s the way it goes. Yes, life is unfair, and we just have to learn to deal with it.

That said, even though I painted a bleak picture, it’s not as bad- at least our school will still be around,  we’re not having any financial difficulties, and the graduate medical program seems to be going strong and not about to disappear into thin air. There are things I’m thankful for, and having the local faculty staying with us and keeping the show running is one of them. Also thankful for all the visiting adjunct faculty who have taught us in the past, who are still part of our lives right now, helping out with our electives in US. And thank goodness I’m so busy and knee-deep in all the things I need to study for the exam and for electives, I don’t have time to mope around about what has happened.

Anyway- will have to stop here. More next time, whenever ‘next time’ is!

Greetings from Los Angeles!

Hello all! The day turned into night which turned into day again, and before I know it tomorrow is the Step 2 CS exam day. At this point I’m beyond freaking out. The heart can only take so much of anxiety a day, and if I allow myself to keep feeling that I’m gonna go nuts. So right now I’m just gonna chill, sleep early and do my best tomorrow. Wish me luck guys.

On another note, it’s so good to be back in LA! LA, my second home, the place that took me in for a good four years what seemed like eons ago. There’s a sense of estrangement on a familiar land, or familiarity on a foreign land. Whichever, whatevs. All I know is, it feels great to be back, and I’ve missed all my friends here. It’s a pity I can’t meet with them all, due to the short period of time that I’ll be here. Perhaps another trip.

My last view of KLIA before we took off. Very hazy morning.
View from up above. Such a huge difference from the skyline in KL. 

After 8 hours of waiting time in Guangzhou airport and 14 gruesome hours of flight, California is finally in sight. I almost got DVT from all those immobility. 

First meal in LA? Of course it had to be In-N-Out! Haha. I don’t care if it’s gonna clot my arteries, I’m having my cheeseburger, fries and chocolate shake. 😛 

Took a walk on Manhattan Beach pier, and saw someone caught a baby shark. Not that I’m a huge fan of fishes/sharks/fishing, but it’s pretty cool this little guy trying its best to wriggle its way out of a human’s grip. The guy wanted to keep it as a pet, but alas he couldn’t find a pail and so it was released into the ocean. Bye baby shark! Swim as far off into the ocean, don’t ever come near the shore!

Last but not least, this is how I feel right now. 
Yes. THIS IS IT. I will win this battle.
SPARTAAAAA!!! 
Good night world. I will write more when I’m done with exam! xoxo. 

Interlude

I don’t know how it happened, but it did. It’s already June and I’m done with third year of med school it’s unbelievable. For the longest time it’s just day after day after day, exams after exams, now that it had ended it felt a little surreal. But that’s not the end… yet. For what comes after third year.. is the fourth year, the year we have to do sub-internships, take up more responsibilities, and act more like an intern. First half will be shit tough, but everyone says the second half of fourth year would be sort of a honeymoon period before the “real doctor’s life” (i.e. residency/housemanship) begins. Yet as we were briefed on our fourth year’s schedule the other day, it didn’t take us long to realize the honeymoon period is nonexistent for us. 

*deep breaths* 
…… 
No matter. We’ll survive, that’s what I keep telling myself. More exams to come, up next is the major one- 12 OSCEs in a day. Good luck to those of us taking it tomorrow. Peace. 

Footnote: Writing this on the go. I think I’ll be doing more of this now that I don’t have the luxury of sitting down and just enjoy a block of time blogging. Right, back to the books.  

Must Watch: Wisdom for Young People

A friend shared this on social media the other day, and I think it’s worth sharing it here as well. Some words about how to approach life in general, about how to see the world we live in today, a world so full of chaos, fragmented by race, religion, skin color etc.  It’s inspiring and heartwarming to know there are people out there who still believe in meliorism and are actually acting upon their beliefs. I do hope that more people are exposed to people, experiences and words like these which would inspire them to do the same. Especially in Malaysia. If there’s anytime in the history of Malaysia needs people like these the most, it is now. So dear friends, do have spend some 12 minutes to watch this short video, (I promise you it’s worth your time) and then ponder some on it and see how you can use it in your daily lives.