You don’t realize how time swooshed by until you look back, weeks or months later. In this case, about a year and a few months later. Where did time go? As we’ve all learned during this pandemic, time felt as stagnant as the murky water in the back alley, but also as if we time-traveled into the future with only a few wrinkles, lots of gray hair, and a muffin top to remind us of the lost time.

Last year I completed chief residency, moved from Maryland to Maine, survived my first winter in the cold frigid Maine, and learned more about primary care than I had in the years during residency. I’ve had interesting stories and encounters I wanted to share, came here, wrote them out, only to hit Backspace until nothing is left. I am still held back by fear- about the backlash of sharing stories, about how others would see me, about being different. I am still learning to be comfortable in my own skin.

A little over two years ago, someone I considered a close friend decided to stop talking to me just like that, and I never figured out why. Took me a long time to get over it, but I’m glad to say I managed to let go. Well… somewhat. I just need to remind myself that life is too short to be hung up on someone who clearly didn’t care about me as I did her.

It’s already May of 2022. Today is as good as any other day to reflect and ask ourselves, have I been doing what I said I’d do at the start of the year? Have I lived my life the way I imagined it to be? If not, what’s stopping me? I’m not sure about you all, but some days I still feel lost.

That’s all for now… everything is, a work in progress.