Ahhh freedom! I can almost taste it. Feels good to be back here. 🙂  It’s been a long hard month since I last blogged. To those who wondered, yes exam is finally over. Don’t ask me how I did though. Lots of post-exam emotions and thoughts that are best left alone and untouched for fear of it inundating me once again (it already did- right after the exam, but I managed to calm self down after long chats with friends and family). In truth, there’s nothing I can do about it now except to enjoy my time with family and…

Conversation with a friend the other day: Friend: …I don’t understand what it means to have postprandial fullness.Me: What do you mean?Friend: I mean, how does it feel and how is that different from normal fullness?Me: Well have you ever eaten so much you just feel like your stomach is so uncomfortable? Friend: (looks at me quizzically) Uh no. Why would anyone do that??!Me: ……. (speechless, look down guiltily)Friend: No seriously… Why would anyone eat anymore when they already feel full?!  Now every time I go into the kitchen to look for snacks, I think about her question. Sometimes it helps…

1. Before Facebook’s existence, I had more time to contemplate, to ruminate on stuff, to blog about thoughts and random ideas; ever since FB became (almost) everybody’s addiction, I too became one of those social media end users who consume all these social bytes- reading other people’s “shares”, “likes”, looking at their photos – lately the theme among my friends are wedding and baby photos, and knowing where they go what they eat what time they sleep whatever else they’ve been doing. Now I’ve never been one of those people who are against social media, but I do blame it…

Last day of my summer break. Tomorrow marks the start of my second year as a medical student. There’s a concoction of emotions in me- excitement about new stuff I’m going to learn (particularly neurosciences, my favorite); anxiety about all the previous materials that I need to review; enthusiasm/gung-ho-ness that comes with the beginning of any start of the year, be it academic or Gregorian calendar year; the jitters about the big fat exam in less than a year that will determine our future destiny; and of course, the delight of seeing my classmates whom I haven’t seen in 7…

tonight my heart feels like a hundred tonne. tonight it feels like the entire universe is weighing down on it. sifting through the old photos brought me back in time, like Alice (in Wonderland) spiraling down memory lane (or rather, tunnel) that seemed to have no end to it. i saw flashbacks of a number of people who were once so close to me, people i cared a lot for, but whom i don’t talk to anymore. sometimes i wonder, why do all this happen, why do friends stop talking to each other over time?! the best answer i could…

Finally! Done with exams, no more worries about getting distracted, no more nightmares of dying patient asking for help! 😛 Oh what I’d do to get to a beach right now and spend some quality time with myself! But… no. Instead, I’m here, writing about going to the beach, picturing myself taking in deep breaths of fresh air, listening to the sound of waves, feeling the sand in between my toes – even that (which would usually make me squirm) makes being at the beach seem like a far better place to be than where I’m at right now. Oh…

Metric – Help, I’m Alive I tremble They’re gonna eat me alive If I stumble They’re gonna eat me alive Can you hear my heart beating like a hammer, beating like a hammer Help, I’m alive, my heart keeps beating like a hammer Hard to be soft, tough to be tender Come take my pulse, the pace is on a runaway train Help, I’m alive, my heart keeps beating like a hammer, beating like a hammer If you’re still alive My regrets are few. If my life is mine, what shouldn’t I do? I get wherever I’m going, I get…

today things got a little out of control and i can’t help but wonder, how did things get to this point? i don’t wanna point fingers, and i certainly don’t want to start the whole blame game, but knowing what happened and be completely honest about things is absolutely necessary to prevent similar mistakes as such.  sigh. perhaps i’m at fault too. perhaps i should’ve stuck my head out there even if it might be butchered. perhaps I should’ve made my point heard even if it meant creating some friction with others. perhaps i should’ve argued until i have it…

am trying to study here, but my mind keeps going back to the news i heard yesterday. on may 22, someone from my high school (a close friend of my close friend) passed away. i don’t know much, all i know is that he had some cancer some years ago and towards the end (i.e. the last i heard, few months ago) he wasn’t getting treatment anymore, probably because it’s end-stage. i wanna write more, but i don’t know him enough to do so. yet even so, it breaks my heart to know someone with such a good heart has…

the sun was scorching hot today, just like yesterday, and the day before yesterday, and the day before the day before yesterday… classes ended earlier today; got my last shot of Hep B vaccination, and off we went in search of cendol, because my classmate Mior was craving for it. ended up at this mini pasar petang (because it’s not pasar malam) at the roadside, where there were probably 7-8 stalls selling deep-fried snacks, noodles, cold drinks etc. – basically all greasy unhealthy food, or, as Phil will say, crappy Malaysian food 😛. but Mior wanted cendol and we just wanted to snack,…