I lied. I said I’ll write more, but so many things happened since my last post, and I couldn’t muster enough energy to put my thoughts and emotions into words. Or maybe I just didn’t want to. Words elude me when sadness overwhelms, and all I want to do is just to run and hide. I dreamed of a 20-foot Sandman who was chasing me everywhere. No matter how far I run, he’d still get to me. Friends and family tried to protect me by allowing me to build secret passageways underneath their living quarters, and eventually I managed to…
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The past year has somewhat gone by in a haze. Bits and pieces surfaced as I tried to recall how I made it through the year. Lots of stress eating, some heartaches, and definitely a lot of repressed memories. It’s not all that bad: there were lots of booze, plenty of laughter, too much ice cream and duck fat fries than I cared to remember, and tears, the latter of which I hate to admit. It’s the Asian culture that I grew up in that I can’t yet shake away, that taught me- tears are for weaklings. And a weakling…
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Baltimore, on a beautiful autumn day. It’s been more than a year since I last posted anything, not because I didn’t want to, but I find myself losing the reason to do so. Some time ago, though, I got a random message from a stranger encouraging me to continue writing because he thought my thoughts were thoughtful and mature, and I thought that was very sweet of him to say so. Truth is, I’ve been meaning to write, and have actually gone as far as creating drafts, but never got around to finishing them up for a myriad of reasons,…
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“Huis Clos”, which is French for Behind Closed Doors, a play written by Jean-Paul Sartre. It’s a play about three people who died and went to hell, and was placed in a room. And the whole play revolves around what happened in the room, hence the title ‘behind closed doors’. I won’t spoil the fun of reading the play for you, but the gist of the story is that they soon realized that they each annoy the hell out of one another so much so that they came to the conclusion that “hell is other people”. If you’re interested, the English title…
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“Death is the destination we all share, no one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be because death is very likely the single best invention of life.” ― Steve Jobs When there is life, there is death. Every new life that comes to this world is guaranteed nothing but death that will ensue, albeit it being just a far-off concept that no one ever thought of at the present moment. But of course. Why would anyone think about that when they’re too busy rejoicing in the beauty of this bundle of joy in their arms, their…
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Imagine Super Mario running the last ten yards, hit a mushroom, grew bigger, took all the coins and ran as fast as it could, and then he jumped! — and successfully caught on to the pole, that brought him to the next level. Yassssss. Moving on to the next level. That’s how I feel now. Next milestone. That said, as exciting as it is, it’s also scary. Because now Mario is back to the minion-size moustache’d boy-man, down in the dungeon, can hardly see, and has to grope in the dark until he figures out his way. For those…
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Preamble I’ve been saving this draft I wrote long ago towards the end of my fourth year of med school, uncertain if I should share it. Was worried that I’d get in trouble for sharing something like that. It’s probably unlikely, given that I’m not sharing any identifiable information about the patient or the personnel taking care of the patient. Plus, it’s been so long ago… I doubt anyone other than myself remembered this incident. I’ve considered deleting it and just move on, but some things are hard to let go, and this is one of them. Sharing it now…
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Posted by a friend on Instagram, thought it’s worth sharing here. #repost (Thanks friend!)Credit goes to the author, whose name I can’t see clearly, but is the lady in the picture. To save you from squinting your eyes, I’m retyping the passage here: When I was about 15 I got pretty overexcited when, through my combination of school subject choices, I came across the concept of duende. It’s a Spanish word with no English translation that could be loosely explained as as expression of the feeling we all have that life is both incredibly heavy and feather-light at the same time. …
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Happy New Year to all. I haven’t been writing much since last year, partly because I was busy, but also partly because I had no words to convey how I felt about recent current affairs. I still don’t, unless I want to spill my guts out about it, which would just be messy and ugly and not something I want to do right now. So while I wait for the wound to heal, I’m just going to avoid that topic for now, and share some pics, and talk about anything else but those that really matter. This year is the year of…
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If a tree fell with a thud, but no one heard it, has it really fallen? If words of truth were written but no one read it, are they still legit? If one was loved by another but he/she alone was utterly blind to it, has it really happened? Does it still count? Humans. Most of the time we seek evidence, trust only our senses and what we can concretely grasp, especially when it’s in our favour or when it’s convenient to us. When it’s not, or when it’s too complicated/overwhelming, we either a) choose to believe whatever we were…
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It was a rainy day but she needed to get out. Nothing could stop her, not the thunder or lightning, or flash flood warning texts. It was that kind of day. On days like those, her yellow boots seemed to have a life of their own, and so off they went, taking her on a path that she had never come across. But she could hardly care. Or maybe she didn’t even notice. If every thought process, every neuronal activity makes a sound, you’d hear the cacophony of clicks, buzz, and ticks inside that skull, going a little overboard not…
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“For every decision you make, every path you choose, you create a parallel life in which you relinquish your rights to. You cannot think of the what-if’s and could-be’s, for that life is no longer yours. All you can do is this: wherever you choose to go, go with all your heart.” ~ friend Thank you, friend. I needed that little reminder. No matter how tough things are, how it might seem impossible to get through those things, how exhausted you feel, you just have to believe that it will all work out. A little faith, a little self-hug, and…