Found this note deep in the Draft section. Didn’t post it then because the pain was still raw. And so I kept it contained. I’m good at that, hiding emotions so people can’t see, can’t tell. All is well- on the outside. Nobody knows what goes on beneath the smiles. But years have passed, and it’s long enough that I feel like I can share now. So here it is. — Every beep and blip means different things in the ICU. There’s the cardiac monitoring alarm that goes off when oxygen level drops; the tone gets lower and lower, it’s…
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The days are long, but the years are short. I was just here three years ago; thought I was going to be around for a few more years, yet life has other plans for me. In less than a month, I’ll be moving on to a different city, for a different job. Honestly didn’t expect to be leaving this place so soon. A part of me feels a little wistful; another part of me needs to get out to save myself. I’ve tried to talk myself out of it, telling myself that I need to stick to what I initially…
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Sometimes life has a way of surprising you, throwing you rotten lemons at the speed of light, that you don’t even realize you got hit. This one hit me hard. For a while, the pain was so intense I almost lost sight of the big picture. I thought about whether to write about it here, but decided now is not the time to share. Perhaps one day, when the pain and trauma has subsided enough for me to talk and joke about it, I will write more. What is the big picture, though? We, mere humans, Homo sapiens, this insignificant…
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It’s been more than year since I last wrote anything here. If this was a room, it’d be full of dust and cobweb right now. An abandoned space. Makes me a little sad when I think about all the lost time that I could’ve shared something with you. Whoever ‘you’ are. How did everyone else live their last year and a half? I’ve been thinking a lot, doing a lot of growing. My cactus has grown big enough to be cut off into a few segments and transplanted into other pots. For a while they looked like they weren’t going…
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“Death is the destination we all share, no one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be because death is very likely the single best invention of life.” ― Steve Jobs When there is life, there is death. Every new life that comes to this world is guaranteed nothing but death that will ensue, albeit it being just a far-off concept that no one ever thought of at the present moment. But of course. Why would anyone think about that when they’re too busy rejoicing in the beauty of this bundle of joy in their arms, their…
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Preamble I’ve been saving this draft I wrote long ago towards the end of my fourth year of med school, uncertain if I should share it. Was worried that I’d get in trouble for sharing something like that. It’s probably unlikely, given that I’m not sharing any identifiable information about the patient or the personnel taking care of the patient. Plus, it’s been so long ago… I doubt anyone other than myself remembered this incident. I’ve considered deleting it and just move on, but some things are hard to let go, and this is one of them. Sharing it now…
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If you ever had that passing thought that “things couldn’t go any worse than this right now“, my advice to you is: please, stop. Stop that thought right now and switch it to something else, whatever that may be. Think of mockingbirds, ice-cream, the cute guy/girl you saw yesterday, your pet. Anything. Anything but that. Experiences prove, time and again, that every time that thought comes into mind, things will inevitably become worse. You may say, well maybe that’s just my selective recall bias, an anecdotal fallacy, and not truth. Fine. Have it your way, but don’t say I never…
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Was talking to a friend about the current state of Malaysia, and it just depresses me. Yes. It has that effect on me. And then I chanced upon this video and though it’s only loosely related, it’s inspiring. Sharing this here so I, too, can re-watch it another day, when I need it. Enjoy!
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the world does not stop spinning it doesn’t care if you have exams tomorrow or the day after or whenever, it doesn’t care if you can’t finish studying or if you need more time to study because you waste too much time lingering on social media/news sites or because you are ill. it doesn’t care if you’re bleeding to death and you need more blood for transfusion- blood that better match your ABO blood group and best be HLA-matched as well. it doesn’t care if you’re a genius or a janitor when it comes to accidents, diseases, or cancers. it…
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平时很少用中文写部落格的我 （uh 不对，是 从来 没用过中文写的我）那晚 看了《那些年，我们一起追的女孩》之后，突然好像在这儿乱涂一两句别人说， 拥有过类似暧昧的感觉的人，都会深同感触而我，却因为没有属于我自己的故事而深深的感慨想想当年 17 岁的我，好像缺少了什么是我让青春白白溜走了吗？是我在很想闯入成人的世界里的当时，失去了那一点点容许我天真无知的时空么？有人明白我在写什么吗？ ＊＊＊ 时光是一去不回头但就算时间真的能倒流我想，凭我了解自己性格的我应该也不会改变我所做过的选择所以其实 也没什么好感慨的虽然，有过一段自己的 “沈佳宜” 或是 “柯腾” 的故事好像蛮令人羡慕的但错过了，也不差啦 毕竟，每个人都有自己精彩的故事我的故事，少了这么一个特别的人但却多了更多很特别，要好的朋友也让我有更多的精神和时间去关心其他对我非常重要的人事物做人嘛，开心就好！:)
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Have you ever encountered a situation whereby you wish to keep certain things to yourself because, technically speaking, you can and you have the right to: it’s your personal life and your ultimate decision to let it be known, or not. Yet, the reality that we live in, governed by certain societal norms, has it that we should share with others our personal stories or incidents or what-have-you’s – because we live in a society, and we’re all connected to each other, no (wo)man is an island, or whatever reasons to justify such sharing. And perhaps there is a physiologic explanation to it…
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Clear sky, spotted with few fluffy clouds. Light breeze caresses skin, as if trying to soothe her nerves. It would’ve been a perfect day, had it not been this ‘thing’ that’s been bothering her. Why, she wonders. Why is this happening, that is. But more importantly, why is she letting it get to her. It feels as if she’s hanging from a cliff, not knowing whether she’ll be rescued, or if she’ll fall. No amount of nature’s beauty will be able to tranquilize her in that situation. Or, will it? In another point of view, there isn’t much she can…